


For Operational Reasons

by Odsbodkins



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:30:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odsbodkins/pseuds/Odsbodkins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD decides that the best way of keeping the Winter Soldier as their most valuable covert agent is to let (almost) everyone think he's dead or disappeared. </p>
<p>Movieverse, with bits taken from the comics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Operational Reasons

SHIELD agents did not run betting pools. Especially not on serious matters. But if they did, the fate of the Winter Soldier would have been one of their major focusses.The last solid fact they had was that the Winter Soldier had crushed the Tesseract and disappeared moments after Captain Rogers had told him to remember who he was.  
  
Longest odds were (or would have been, if there was a betting pool, which there certainly was not) on the Winter Soldier having been vaporised. This would seem initially to have been the most likely thing to have happened, but SHIELD scientists were almost certain that the energy release had been teleportation, not destruction.  
  
Even if he had teleported, it was an unfriendly universe out there. So if he had teleported somewhere he could have been killed either immediately, or over a few hours or days. But the odds on this were still long, because the way that the Tesseract seemed to operate as a gateway suggested that it linked survivable places.  
  
So the smart money was on the Winter Soldier having killed himself. His last words were certainly suggestive of that state of mind; couple that with there being no sign at all of him since the incident, and you had some very short odds indeed.   
  
But the really smart money was on the Winter Soldier having killed himself, and that the senior hierarchy of SHIELD knew and had covered it up in order to maintain the functioning of Captain Rogers.  
  
 _(-Steve's woken by his name being spoken softly, and he'd recognise that voice anywhere. He opens his eyes to Bucky standing by his bed, light from the street keeping his face half in shadow. Bucky has left the window he came in through open, and Steve says the first thing that comes into his head, "You must be freezing. C'mere."_  
  
 _Bucky hesitates a half-second before kicking his boots off and sliding into bed. Steve wraps his arms around Bucky, and there’s another hesitation before Bucky hugs him back, tucks his head under Steve’s chin._  
  
 _They hold each other for a couple of minutes before Bucky says, "You know SHIELD have your whole apartment bugged, right?"_  
  
 _"They going to come running?"_  
  
 _"They're seeing a tape of you sleeping like a baby."_  
  
 _Steve takes a while to ask the question he wants to ask (the first question, he has so many), "Where did you go?"_  
  
 _"Took me to Camp Lehigh. Abandoned now. Good place to think. I- I still think you should have killed me-"_  
  
 _Steve tightens his hold on Bucky, can't even form the words, instead presses a kiss to Bucky's forehead._  
  
 _"But I'm still here. And I gotta make amends. And there's only one thing I'm good at. So I was gonna ask SHIELD for a job."_  
  
 _Steve smiles into Bucky's hair. "I think that having you as an Agent is on Director Fury's Christmas list."_  
  
 _"Everyone wants the best weapons. And that's all I am."_  
  
 _"Not to me."_  
  
 _"I came here because I'm a selfish bastard, and I wanted to see you one last time. You don't need me. You've not needed me since '43."_  
  
 _Steve loosens his hold enough to look at Bucky, to see the cold hopelessness in his eyes. "I need you. I need the guy who saw the kid from Brooklyn, not Captain America. But- I-" He pauses, tries to get his thoughts in order, falls back on cliche because it really is what he's trying to grasp right now, "I love you. I want you to be happy. If you have to leave for that to happen-"_  
  
 _Bucky makes a strangled noise and surges forward to kiss him-)_  
  
Natasha had been watching Steve in the days following the Winter Soldier's disappearance, trying to work him out. Trying to work both of them out. Would Bucky kill himself? Go underground? Come back to Steve? The man she had known was self-sufficient, conditioned not to turn his gun on himself, most likely in those circumstances to just become someone else. But that wasn't the man who had disappeared in front of her.  
  
And Steve, who had at first seemed to be a child's conception of an officer, politeness and dignity and leadership and little else, had shown he would risk everything to save his friend. Had showed that if it came to protecting someone close to him he could be downright reckless. But the moment Bucky had disappeared he had gone back to that image of an officer, some sort of protective autopilot.  
  
She wondered if Steve would break. Or if the man underneath had broken, but not so completely as to break the image as well.  
  
She felt it was reasonably likely that Bucky would make contact with Steve. She knew that SHIELD had full surveillance on Steve's apartment, and added her own recommendation that the intensity be stepped up. She was entirely sure that if there had been even the slightest hint of where Bucky had gone that Steve would have gone looking for him.  
  
Six days after Bucky disappeared she thought that she noted a change in Steve, enough for her to report it, to suggest that they look into his movements in case Bucky had returned. She didn't hear anything back, and Steve was back to normal the next day. She thought that perhaps she had been over-analysing him.   
  
 _(-Steve only calls Coulson when they are already at the diner they intend to meet him in. It is just past 3am and Bucky has left the surveillance loop in place, still showing a sleeping Steve in bed. They sit shoulder to shoulder, nursing cups of coffee, sometimes poking at the plate of pancakes that sit between them. Beneath the table their fingers are interlaced, each occasionally stroking their thumb over the other’s hand in reassurance._  
  
 _Coulson does not comment on Bucky's breach of security. He listens to Bucky's request, says, "SHIELD feels that someone with your talents could be an excellent asset. However, SHIELD also considers that for operational reasons it should still be believed you are missing. So, we can offer you a job. But only the very highest security clearance will know you work for us. We take you off our kill list, but you can expect no support in the field."_  
  
 _Bucky shrugs. "I work best alone."_  
  
 _"No contact with any other SHIELD personnel, or with any contacts made while in... other employment. Including Agent Romanov."_  
  
 _"Fine. But I'm staying with Steve."_  
  
 _"That's not-"_  
  
 _"Not negotiable."_  
  
 _Coulson flicks his gaze between them, appears to think for a moment, then says to Steve, "No contacts applies to letting anyone know Barnes is alive, or that you have ever had contact with Barnes since he disappeared. The surveillance on your apartment is already very high clearance. This will make it a little higher."_  
  
 _Steve says, "Thank you."_  
  
 _"Don't thank me. This is going to be a lot harder than you think it is."-)_  
  
Tony basically enjoyed the verbal sparring that always happened when he met Steve (sometimes it got a little too close to the bone, but not often). Riling Steve proved that there was a flawed human under all the squeaky-clean patriotism. And they could both put it aside well enough to work as a team when they needed to. Sometimes there wasn't actually much Tony really wanted to needle him about, on which occasions he fell back on the old standards of Steve’s age and sex life.  
  
Now was one such occasion. The Avengers (sans Thor) were stuck in a decontamination suite on the helicarrier until the scientists came to a conclusion about the substance they'd all been covered in. A substance which had ploughed straight through his suit's air filters, much to his disgust. Of course he was running his own analyses via JARVIS, but they were taking a stupidly long time. There really was nothing else to do right now, so he settled for needling Steve.  
  
"What is the etiquette for hiring a hooker for a national icon?"  
  
The others looked at him wearily. They had all been put through decontamination showers and were wearing identical scrubs.  
  
"So, I'm thinking, another brush with mortality, do we risk the ninety year old virgin dying without getting laid?"  
  
Steve just sighed. That was bad. It was no fun if he didn't react.  
  
Bruce smiled. "I thought the movie cliche was that the ones who are having sex die first."  
  
"That's horror movies. Are we in a horror movie? I've seen us more as a war movie."  
  
Clint said, "We're a screwball comedy. But our writer sucks."  
  
"Doesn't change the fact that as good team members we need to get Cap laid."  
  
Natasha looked at Tony, "How do you know he doesn't have a girlfriend? He might just not want to introduce her to you."   
  
"Good point, Cap, you got a girl back home you're keeping from us?"  
  
Clint said, "If we were in a war film that would definitely get him killed."  
  
Steve smiled and shook his head, "No girl back home, sorry."  
  
"So no impediment to a professional de-virginising-"  
  
"Why do you think I'm a virgin anyway?"  
  
Wait, had Steve just said what he thought he had? "You lost it?"  
  
"A really long time ago, Tony."  
  
"Do we get details?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Just the once, or do you have practice?"  
  
Steve chuckled and looked at the floor. "More than once."  
  
“More than once needs details.”  
  
“No.”  
  
"At least give us something, Cap. Blonde? Brunette? Redhead?"  
  
"No."  
  
And there was a finality there that Tony could see meant that really was all he was going to get out of Steve,  however much he picked. Pity.  
  
 _(- It's always like this when they're separated for a few weeks. They never make it as far as the bedroom, instead ending up on the floor or the couch or like now, against the wall. There's no finesse, just pure need, sloppy desperate kisses, clothes half pulled off. They're rutting against each other, and it's been long enough that this is all they need, pressure against each other, and nails scraped along skin and teeth scraped along lips and tongue and they're coming._  
  
 _Then, like always, they look at the state they're in, and grin at each other, because they damn well beat the odds again and they both came back alive from whatever it was, and this will always be worth it._  
  
 _Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's neck, looks up at him and says,  "How many times d'ya think you got it in you this evening, super-soldier?"_  
  
 _Steve grins and picks Bucky up.-)_  
  
Bruce wondered if there was ever a point where his younger self would have been drunk enough to believe that somewhere in his future he would be walking in the rain across a grassy field in the middle of nowhere with Captain America. The fact that Captain America was using his shield to keep the rain off Bruce was just an added touch of surreality. The Other Guy had used Steve to draw off a good chunk of the enemy forces, and now the others were just mopping up. But that meant no-one was free to offer them a lift, so they were walking towards a copse of trees for a little shelter.  
  
The rain was rattling off Steve’s shield, and it was a pretty useless umbrella, but it was the thought that counted.  
  
"How is Betty?"  
  
Bruce smiled, because he couldn’t help himself. He did whenever he thought about the woman who came back to him, even with everything he’d done. And not just the Other Guy, Bruce knew that leaving without even saying goodbye, even if it was for her safety, would be unforgivable to a lot of people. “She’s- we’re- it’s great to have someone to come home to, you know?”  
  
Bruce belatedly realised that no, Steve probably didn’t know.  
  
But Steve was smiling. “Yeah, I-” Then Steve stopped, and the smile faded. “I guess that must be nice.”  
  
Bruce wanted to know the source of that smile, but then again knew that he didn’t want to push the issue. He was almost certain that whoever Steve was smiling about, they were long dead.  
  
 _(-Steve comes home exhausted. He’s had a couple of hours sleep on the flight back from the mission, and knows that physically he could get out in the field and fight again if it was really needed, but mentally he’s drained. He smiles when Bucky walks out of the kitchen, as he hadn’t known if Bucky would be home._  
  
 _Bucky doesn’t say anything, just gathers him into a hug, then leads him into the bedroom. Steve’s half-asleep as Bucky helps him out of his clothes. He falls asleep with his face pressed into Bucky’s chest, one hand fisted in the worn fabric of Bucky’s t-shirt. There is a hand stroking his hair, and a metal hand rubbing circles on his back.-)_  
  
Clint had been stuck with Steve, waiting for their ‘allies’ to get their asses into gear, for far too long. They were supposed to be conserving power, so using their tablets was out. They had played cards. They had played ‘I spy’. They had even played twenty questions. There were a limited number of times they could check over their kit before they had to admit that absolutely everything was there and in working order.  
  
So they were sat there, in a comfortable but bored silence.  
  
A question arose in Clint’s mind. He didn’t know if he dared ask it. National icon and all that. But in the silence it sat there, until at last he said, “You get nightmares, right?”  
  
Steve nodded. “But never in the field.”  
  
“Me neither. Natasha gets them too. Uh, shit, shouldn’t have said that, you can never tell her I told you that, right?”  
  
Steve was smiling at him. “Don’t worry. Sounds like we’re all in the same boat anyway.”  
  
Clint smiled back. “Does that mean you lie to SHIELD shrinks about what the nightmares are about too?”  
  
Steve’s smile didn’t waver. “Possibly.”  
  
Clint felt safe around Steve. Not that he expected nothing bad would happen, more that he would never be on the receiving end of anything malicious from Steve, ever. That probably explained why he said what he did. “I tell them I have nightmares about being mind-controlled again. About Loki. I don’t. They’re all about killing Natasha. Every single one. And when I wake up and she’s there, I’m scared to touch her, in case it bleeds through.”  
  
Steve just nodded, and Clint realised he was right to trust him with this. No pat answers or meaningless reassurance. There was a long silence, and Clint thought that Steve wasn’t going to say anything more, but instead Steve took a deep breath and spoke.  
  
“I tell them they’re about- about Bucky falling.” Jesus, Clint could hear the effort Steve was putting in to keeping it together while saying that. “They’re not. It’s- it’s usually the same nightmare. I’m in the first Hydra base, and I need to get to him, but I’m not like this, I’m how I was before. I get to the lab and he’s dead. And sometimes-”  
  
Steve had very suddenly stopped himself. Clint wondered what was there that he couldn’t say. Perhaps Steve killed Bucky or Peggy in some of his nightmares too. He could imagine that being something that Steve couldn’t live with.  
  
 _(-This time it’s Bucky who wakes with a strangled cry, and he is stood up out of bed before he is fully aware of his surroundings. Steve is beside him, but practiced enough in this not to touch him until he sees Bucky relax slightly. He’s unintentionally spooked Bucky a couple of times in the past, and never wants to do it again. Steve slowly folds Bucky into his arms as Bucky mumbles, “I took the shot, I took it, I took the shot.”_  
  
 _Neither of them needs to ask what the other has nightmares about. These days they know each other’s nightmares as well as they know their own. And someone being there, well, it doesn’t make it better. But it’s much, much worse when either of them has a nightmare when they are on their own, with no reassurance to be had.-)_  
  
Thor enjoyed these ‘movie nights’ with the Avengers. They didn’t happen very regularly, as they all had commitments that meant they were rarely all even in the same city. But it was good to spend time with his team when they weren’t in battle.  
  
“I like this ‘domesticity’. It is a word we do not have on Asgard. The Lady Jane had to explain it.”  
  
Tony looked at him. “The god of Thunder likes domesticity.”  
  
“Yes! When I am with my people we eat meals as feasts, we hear tales in great halls. We do not have this... intimacy.” Thor caught Tony’s expression. “I do not mean sexual congress, Stark. The intimacy of spending time with few, or one, in other matters.”  
  
Natasha nodded and smiled. “Not something I used to have much of either. It’s... nice.”  
  
Clint smiled at her. He also caught the glances that Tony and Pepper gave each other, and Bruce and Betty. It was a pity that Jane could not have been present, but he knew that he would be with her again in a few days. It was a greater pity that Steve did not have another he could share this with. But Steve was smiling too.  
  
“You have had the pleasures of domesticity also, Steve?”  
  
“Uh, yeah. I never really lived on my own. Um, until now.”  
  
Tony said, “Share any domesticity with the mystery woman who popped your cherry?”  
  
Steve just looked at Tony. Thor enjoyed their sparring, but this was one of the subjects where Steve would not respond, instead would just close down the conversation. Tony seemed to realise that, and said, “Always space in the tower if you want to stop living alone.”  
  
“Living here would be like living alone most of the time, except when you wanted me to lift something for you, Tony.”  
  
“Holding up one end of my projects is the essence of domesticity.”  
  
“Right up to the point you get electrocuted.” said Natasha.  
  
“The Lady Jane and I make baked goods together. It is most pleasurable, apart from French macaroons.”  
  
“What’s so bad about macaroons?” asked Pepper  
  
“They will not come out the way they do from the bakery. They burn or they are... soggy. If we do not have success soon I will have to admit that they have bested me. But pancakes, they are truly good. Every man should make pancakes with his love.”  
  
“Think I’m going to stick with movies and meals out together.” said Tony.  
  
“You’re missing out. Nothing beats home-made.” said Bruce.  
  
“And someone to share them with,” added Betty.  
  
Thor caught Steve smiling again, but the smile faded in an instant. He wished that he could ease his team-mate’s pain, but realised that there was little he could do. So he changed the subject. “Do the winds on Midgard often pick up farmhouses, or is this another fiction for the tale?”  
  
 _(-Bucky has bought jam and sour cream and butter for the pancakes, because “only maybe 99% of the stuff that happened to me in Russia was bad.” They get under each other’s feet making the batter, and manage to ruin the first batch because each thinks the other is responsible for flipping them._  
  
 _They eat pancakes hot from the pan, standing in the kitchen. Steve admits that he likes them with sour cream and sugar and jam, much to Bucky’s delight.-)_  
  
The Avengers were collapsed around the main living room of the tower, filthy and exhausted. Except for Steve.  
  
Steve had, in the middle of the latest battle for New York, had a building fall on him. Clint had been the only one with a viewpoint to see it, had barked the warning, but there hadn’t been enough time.  
  
They knew now that Steve was probably ok, as the shield had taken most of the impact. But everyone was replaying the dread they’d felt in the few moments of silence before Steve had been able to respond. And even supersoldiers could be hurt, so as soon as they’d mopped up the last of the invaders, he’d been sent to medical for a thorough examination. All of them had seen how awful he looked at the end of the fight, pale and bleeding, and agreed wholeheartedly with the order.  
  
“I’m gonna check up on Steve.” said Tony. He opened up the nearest holo-display, started flicking through SHIELD security feeds.  
  
“You could just ask him.” said Bruce.  
  
“As if Captain martyrdom is going to tell us if something is wrong. Ha, there he is.”  
  
The feed showed Steve sat on an examination couch, a medic turning away from him and walking out of the room. Steve picked up his top and pulled it over his head. Then there was the sound of the door opening again, and Steve looked up. The feed didn’t pick up the door, so they couldn’t see the person who Steve was talking to when he said, “You really shouldn’t be here.”  
  
There was a man walking towards Steve, gun still slung over his shoulder,. “Jesus, Steve, I thought I’d lost you.”  
  
Clint said, “Holy shit, is that who I think it is?”  
  
Natasha nodded. “The Winter Soldier.”  
  
The man had crossed to Steve, was standing close enough that they were almost touching. He gently put his right hand on Steve’s neck and said, “I can’t do it any more.”  
  
“Bucky-”  
  
“You nearly died, and what, I’m supposed to stay away? No. Not any more.” With that he leaned in and kissed Steve. Steve kissed him back deeply, slid a hand around his neck and the other around his waist, pulled him close.  
  
It was Tony’s turn to say, “Holy shit.” Then he looked at Clint and Natasha. “If either of you knew and didn’t tell, I’m never giving you any cool toys ever again.”  
  
“Trust me Tony, I’m just as surprised as you are. I didn’t even know if he was still alive.” said Natasha.  
  
Tony activated his comm, “Sorry to break your moment, Cap, but since when did you have a boyfriend?”  
  
On the screen they saw Steve and Bucky break apart and give each other mutually despairing looks. They stayed close though, arms still loosely around the other’s waist.Steve said, “You’re not supposed-”  
  
“Not supposed to hack SHIELD, not supposed to do several hundred other things that make Fury pissed. Don’t change the subject. We’re talking about your enemy agent boyfriend.”  
  
“Enemy agent.” repeated Bucky, incredulously.  
  
“He’s not-”  
  
“He’s the Winter Soldier, Cap, forgive me for-” said Tony.  
  
Bucky interrupted. “How long d’ya think it’s gonna take him to work out that there’s a reason I can hear him?”  
  
“You’re on our comms.” said Natasha.  
  
“Hi Nat. Usually receiving only.”  
  
“So, wait, the Winter Soldier works for SHIELD now?” asked Tony.  
  
“Oh, you _are_ a genius.” said Bucky.  
  
Steve said, “For, what, two years now? The idea was, up until five minutes ago-” He gave Bucky a stern look, “that if everyone thought the Winter Soldier was dead, or at least missing, he would be more effective. That meant most people in SHIELD not knowing either.”  
  
“How long have you been mated?” asked Thor.  
  
It was Bucky who answered that one. “Complicated. Both running on different timelines-”  
  
“Hey, are we looking at the guy who took Captain America’s virginity?” said Tony.  
  
“Just because you know I’ve got a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean I’m going to start answering your questions about my sex life, Tony.”  
  
Bucky grinned filthily at Steve, and Steve gave him a warning gesture.  
  
“You could at least have let us know we were barking up the wrong tree, sexuality speaking.”  
  
“It was easier if you were looking in all the wrong places. I mean, you asked me if I had a girl back home, and it wasn’t a lie when I said I didn’t.”  
  
“You two, over to the tower, now. I’m calling an emergency movie night. We may be years too late, but we need to vet Cap’s new boyfriend.”  
  
 _(-they’ve all showered and changed and are sprawled on the couches, still a little too much adrenaline for any of them to fall asleep. Bucky is sat between Steve’s legs, Steve’s arms around his waist, having an animated argument with Clint about some technical aspect of sniping._  
  
 _Natasha is curled around Clint, and when Steve catches her eye they both nearly burst out laughing. Unfortunately, their other halves are both trained covert agents and notice this._  
  
 _Bucky says, “There is nothing funny about how wrong he is-”_  
  
 _Clint is indignant, “You are so wrong you’re not even on the same planet as right-”_  
  
 _Both Steve and Natasha laugh, and Tony says, “Boring was not the word I was going to associate with Captain America’s boyfriend, but right now-”_  
  
 _Both Clint and Bucky throw cushions at him, both of which hit him squarely in the face.-)_  
  
Back at SHIELD HQ, Fury handed over ten dollars to Coulson.  
  
“I think you’ll find it was twenty, sir.”  
  
Fury raised an eyebrow at Coulson.  
  
“Ten dollars was for them lasting covertly for more than eighteen months. And there was another ten dollars because it was Barnes that cracked, not Rogers. Sir.”  
  


**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] For Operational Reasons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2517923) by [Odsbodkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odsbodkins/pseuds/Odsbodkins), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




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